My First Love

With hands gripping the seat we sat on, knees quaking and knocking together we poured our hearts in prayer. The Pastor had just finished ministering on a message “My First Love”, my ear perked up as I heard the title; that was all I wanted these days, I wanted to be so badly in a relationship. Yes, all around me people were getting into theirs and I sat wondering if I was that ugly that none would approach me. So you can imagine the smile that spread across my face on that title as I whispered within me “another relationship message” I brought out my pad and recorder, I have to listen keenly, there was obviously something I wasn’t getting right.

Slowly he walked to the pulpit and as he began to pray, I felt suddenly hot. What would happen next was beyond my control, I had stopped writing and fell to my knees as muffled cries were heard all around me. The Lord knew what I needed was not a lover but the very First lover; My first Love. (Fiction)

4. But I have this [charge] against you, that you have left your first love [you have lost the depth of love that you first had for Me].

5. So remember the heights from which you have fallen, and repent [change your inner self—your old way of thinking, your sinful behavior—seek God’s will] and do the works you did at first [when you first knew Me]; otherwise, I will visit you and remove your lampstand (the church, its impact) from its place—unless you repent.

(Revelation 2 vs 4-5 (Amp)

You see, it’s not that we’re completely turned back from following Christ, (or so we thought) but gradually our first love had diminished, the fire that sprung up within our hearts at salvation was gradually dying out. Our batteries were draining out yet we saw nothing wrong with us. We were quick to criticize others. Quick to lash out at indecent dressings and lifestyles but gradually our wardrobes were changing, our clothes came from long to midi to near mini.

Our prayer lives were like drive throughs and our bible study were nonexistent and when we do, we either doze off or feel like a burden was placed on us.

We’ve become so mixed with the world that the world sees no difference between us and them.

Don’t get me wrong, outwardly everything was perfect you wouldn’t tell that there was a deviation in our hearts and ways.

We attended every bible study, prayer meeting, conventions, retreat and programs but our lives were just a turn-table routine.

When asked about our denomination, we were quick to say it as if the mere mention of it were a ticket to heaven.

We’ve paraded ourselves as God’s people (and indeed we were until we lost it; our first love), while the ashes on our altars kept getting higher than the light, than our burning fires, we’ve gotten so busy that we don’t have time to stop and clean out the ashes.

Enough of the passivity and moderate Christian life that we live, enough of the subtle blending with the world yet not completely looking like her.

In the time of the Apostles, as soon as they were filled with the Holy Ghost, the once timid men became bold and filled with power, but today there’s the opposite.

What we have are Christian women slaying in the Holy Ghost.

With no difference from the world they were called to be separate from. No power to put the devil where he belongs, no testimony for victory over sin and the power of the enemy. Don’t we pride ourselves with speaking in tongues and ‘kabashing’ in the Spirit yet the man at the beautiful gate has looked on us many a times but it’s either we lack the discernment to sense his need, the power of faith to raise him up or we simply are not who we appear to be.

What about the numerous pains and tears that would have being avoided if we have walked in the Spirt and not fulfilled the deeds of the flesh.

Peter and John fixed their eyes on him and said, “silver and gold have I not, but want I have I give to you in the name of Jesus Christ, rise up and walk”.

What we hear them say is “it is because I don’t have money and riches, but this one that I have let me give to you since there is no money” and with this we run the 10 miles chasing after the money and wealth.

But these disciples never had their needs not met, but what they have “THE POWER OF THE HOLY GHOST AND THE AUTHORITY IN THE NAME OF JESUS”, they knew who they were and what they posses.

They knew that there was an impartation in the upper room and there was no way their lives would remain the same.

Enough of having a form of godliness but lacking the power thereof.

Enough of going from one program to another and we talk about the greatness of the programs but two weeks after we are where we started from.

Enough of struggling to study our bibles, enough of the prayerless walk that the devil has capitalized on, enough of the talk without effect and testimonies.

It is time to rise and take away the ashes from off our altars, it is time to go the extra mile in our walk with God.

It is time to look at sin and call it what it is. It is time to remember that we are pilgrims here on earth and as we journey we would one day exit this world to give account of how we have lived.

It is time to go back to our first love.

Go back to the love that drew you from the crowd to the cross.

That sank you on your knees as you cried and prayed for grace.

The love that revealed who you are and the savior’s waiting arms.

The love that was so strong to blot out every stain.

The Love that taught you to seek the Lord in humility, to search in brokenness and compelled you to live out the life of Christ in holiness.

The love that drew you out of darkness to see the light.

The Love that is still much available and is calling on you.

IT IS TIME WE GO BACK TO OUR FIRST LOVE.